One of the most powerful mental tools I share with my clients is to know your why. As is likely self-evident, your why is the reasons you do what you do, whether work, sports, or other avocations. In this article, I’m going to talk about my
why for doing triathlons, how I lost touch with it, and how I reconnected with it again.
There is no single why for doing anything, including triathlon. You may race because you love being physically active, 
to manage the stress of everyday life, to be part of a passionate community, or because you like setting, striving for, and achieving goals.
Every why is motivating because every why gets you to the pool, on the bike, and out for a run. But not every why is healthy. Triathlon can become a way to manage an addictive personality, self-medicate against internal struggles, or bolster a fragile sense of self-worth. These whys may motivate us, but they don’t necessarily bring us meaning, fulfillment, or joy.
What has been my why for the last several decades of racing every distance, from Ironmans to Super Sprints? If I’m
honest with myself, my whys have been a mixture of healthy and unhealthy reasons.
On the positive side, as a lifelong athlete, I love challenging myself physically and mentally, pushing my limits, seeing what is possible, and seeing how I stack up against the best in the world.
On the less positive side, many of my whys have been driven by my youth, in which I was a late bloomer, an underachiever, shy and socially awkward, and very insecure. Many of my early whys were intended to bolster my sense of self-worth and prove myself to others (and myself). Though these whys propelled me to some degree of success, they provide the meaning, fulfillment, and joy that we all seek.
Only through a long and bumpy journey did I finally arrive rather late in life at the healthy whys that had driven my
triathlon life since I started racing in 2002…until recently.
Losing Touch with My Why
This shift began after the 2025 USAT Multisport National Championships in Omaha. Much to my surprise, I won my age group in all three races I entered. Though I had hoped I might win one national title, never in a million years did I think three were possible.
Initially, those victories had a remarkable positive impact on me. They expanded my view of what I thought I was capable of and produced a deep sense of euphoria that I had rarely felt in my life.
What I didn’t realize was that there was a dark side to those three victories.
I first noticed it as I headed toward the 2025 World Triathlon Championships in Australia. Having medaled several times at previous Worlds, I became preoccupied with medaling again, thinking more about the podium than what I
needed to do to get there. In the days leading up to the races, I was so anxious and physically uncomfortable that I actually dreaded them. Where I had previously been thrilled just to compete at that level, I now had a sense of apprehension that made me sick to my stomach.
The same thing happened heading into the 2026 USAT Multisport National Championships in Michigan. I couldn’t get the possibility of another sweep out of my mind. What had always been a dream, a hope, even a goal, had turned into an expectation. It felt like I had put on a metaphorical weight vest laden with pressure.
In both Australia and Michigan, once I arrived at the race venue, I calmed down, felt some excitement, and performed well. But the results weren’t the point. What mattered was how awful I felt beforehand and how thoroughly unmoved I felt afterward. Instead of feeling thrilled, proud, and inspired, I mostly felt, well, nothing.
When I returned home from Michigan, I took a long and hard look at myself in the mirror (figuratively speaking). I began to question whether I wanted to continue in our sport. Gosh, I asked myself, what’s the point of devoting so much time, energy, and money if I don’t actually enjoy it?
Reconnecting with My Why
That was when I realized I had lost touch with the healthy whys that had brought me such satisfaction and pleasure in
being a triathlete. I needed to reconnect with them if I wanted to stay in our sport and reap all the wonderful benefits it has to offer, especially those unrelated to results.
During the training block between Michigan and Milwaukee, I focused on what I love most about triathlon: bike rides with friends, track workouts, strength training, and early-morning masters swims. When my mind drifted toward 
results in Milwaukee, I acknowledged those thoughts (“yes, I want to get on the podium”) and gently shifted my thinking to what I needed to do to get there. I also reminded myself regularly of why I do triathlons: the challenge of pushing myself and the “tri-high” I feel after a hard workout.
As Milwaukee approached, I felt more positive, relaxed, and excited to race. Once there, I focused on my preparations, spent time with triathlon friends, and just plain smiled a lot thinking about how grateful I was to be healthy, fit, and able to do what I love.
And here is the triple “victory” that came with reconnecting with my why. Yes, I had some very gratifying results that got me onto the lowest and then highest steps of the podium.
But the results weren’t the big thing.
The much more important “wins” came from two aspects of racing that connect most deeply with my healthy why. First, I really enjoyed my two races, so much that, despite the inevitable pain of pushing myself from start to finish, I was smiling regularly throughout them.
Second, for the first time in a while, I felt this difficult-to-describe combination of joy, fulfillment, excitement, and pride. The best way I can describe it is to tell you what I said and did after my two races. Feeling like I was about to burst with energy, I yelled out, “F&%#ing A!” and pumped my fist with intensity.
That is the feeling I do triathlons for. And I’m thrilled to have experienced it again after reconnecting with my why.
My goal now, with about six weeks until the World Triathlon Championships in Spain, is to stay connected to my healthy why and use it to propel me toward both great results and great joy in those races.