This article is a worthwhile read for any parent who wants to raise a kind and caring child (which, I assume, is every parent). One point I really like is to praise your children's character, rather than their behavior, when they behave kindly (e.g., "You shared because you are a caring person"), and "punish" children's behavior, [...]
An interesting question is posed in a New York Times article in which I am featured: Do parents have a right to post photos of their children on social media without the children's consent or against their wishes?
In my last post, I explained how the words that parents use with their children can influence how secure they become. Words are powerful to be sure, but, as the saying goes, actions speak louder than words. To foster a health sense of security in your children, your actions, and those your children, can really [...]
Here's a great read from a leading parenting expert Alfie Kohn that contradicts the convention wisdom about so-called grit, a concept developed by Angela Duckworth that has been getting a lot of attention lately in parenting and education circles.
Words have a powerful effect on your children. What you say impacts what they think about themselves and their world, the actions they take as they explore their world, and the emotions they experience as they interact with their world. Your words can create a child who is secure and comfortable with themselves. Or, your [...]
On the heels of my recent post titled, Risk-Taking for Your Children: How Much is Enough?, The Atlantic Monthly just published a cover story, The Overprotected Child, which covers the topic from a slightly different, but very compelling, angle. A great read!
Some time ago, I wrote a post about a TED talk in which the speaker recommended that parents allow their children to engage in risky behavior, for example, play with fire, own a pocket knife, throw spears, take apart appliances, and drive a car. I agreed with his views though I also suggested that, because he wasn’t a parent, it was easy for him to say. In contrast, as parents, we all struggle with a fundamental question: How much risk for our children? This question is one I ask myself often because I believe that parents these days are far too protective of their children. Many parents ‘bubble wrap’ their kids with the best of intentions to safeguard them from life’s dangers. I would argue , however, that these parents are actually doing their children a disservice by not allowing them to gain experiences that will build confidence and instill resilience that will be essential for success and happiness later in life. This question arose in my mind over the weekend as my wife and I had some fun adventures with our two daughters (ages 8 and 6). Our girls rode their bikes, swam, and climbed high on play structures. At a more mundane level, we also hung around the house during which time they climbed up on the kitchen counters, cut vegetables with a sharp knife, and helped my wife cook dinner on the stove. Additionally, our daughters rode their scooters on the sidewalk in front of our house and went for a walk around the neighborhood by themselves. Next weekend, we’re going up to the mountains to ski.
Mikaela Shiffrin is, at only 18 years old, the top slalom ski racer in the world, the Olympic gold medalist in slalom in Sochi, and a veritable fount of lessons that athletes, coaches, and parents can learn from to help athletes achieve their competitive goals. After reading a profile of Mikaela in The New York Times recently (be sure to watch the videos in the article), I felt five more lessons crying out to be told. With all due respect to Dan Coyle (author of The Talent Code) and other recent authors, “10 years 10,000 hours” isn’t enough to achieve athletic greatness (BTW, here’s a great rebuttal to that argument). It is abundantly clear that much of what makes Mikaela exceptional can’t be taught. Early videos of her demonstrate a feel for the snow and a sense of balance that just isn’t trainable. I’m going to argue that Mikaela is just wired differently than us mere mortals. Of course, that inborn hard wiring wouldn’t have been enough to take her to the top of her sport without the drive that enabled her to put in the long hours of training to master the physical, technical, tactical, and mental aspects of ski racing.