Note: In my November, 2009 newsletter, Unconditional Love is Bad!, I provoked some strong responses from readers. The main beef that they had was with my notion that parents withdraw their love from their children. Let me clarify this point. I'm not talking about what we as parents feel (of course, we always love our [...]
The basic idea behind unconditional love seems quite reasonable. You should love your children just for who they are, regardless of what they do. Children shouldn't have to worry whether their actions will cause you to love them less. They should be able to count on your love no matter what. But unconditional love is [...]
Please be prepared. I'm going to go on a bit of rant now. I just can't hold it in any longer. I see parents doing this constantly and it's killing me because they know not what they do and they are actually hurting their children's development. What am I referring to? It's praise, that's what [...]
Over the last several weeks, considerable attention and discussion has been directed toward whether Michael Vick, the former NFL quarterback and convicted felon (he served two years for a conviction related to dog fighting) should be allowed to return to the NFL. He has been conditionally reinstated, so his return seems inevitable. Though protests are [...]
#1: Take a Hit for the Team In a culture that seems to worship selfishness, as the father, you must be willing to be selfless and make your family your #1 priority. This means putting the needs of your wife and children ahead of your own. If you have to choose between what's best for [...]
We live in a culture in which many parents feel tremendous pressure to "fast forward" their children's development. Unfortunately, in their efforts to speed up their children's development in school, sports, and the performing arts, parents are in danger of setting them up for failure and slowing rather than speeding up their development. By placing [...]
Frustration may be your children's most significant obstacle to achieving their goals. We all have experienced the feeling of frustration when we're not able to do something as we pursue our goals; we feel stuck, we get uptight, and we have difficulty focusing. The best way I can describe the feeling is: AAARRGGHH!! It is [...]
In my very first Prime Family Alert! newsletter published in April of 2005, I discussed the sad epidemic of fear of failure that was rampant in America then. Well, almost four years later, fear of failure is still the most pervasive and debilitating issue among children I see in my practice and the thousands I [...]
You should expect a lot of your children. Set the bar high on what you value and make it clear to your children that you expect them to live up to those standards. Expectations communicate to your children what you, well, expect of them. They are standards of behavior grounded in your family’s values to [...]
I was all ready to discuss another topic in this issue of Kids & Culture Alert! when I received the following email from a reader the other day: “There is a huge difference between telling a child to ‘suck it up’ and do their homework, and telling them to suck it up when dealing with [...]