A source of stress and frustration for the dance teacher is often parents. This is disturbing because teachers and parents are the two groups who have the greatest impact on the young dancer. Clearly, if they are at odds, it is the dancer who will suffer. The goal then is to move teachers and parents from an adversarial position to one of cooperation. Teachers can facilitate this process by developing a continuing dialogue with parents.
One of the most common parent-related complaints of dance teachers is that they seem to have some fundamental philosophical differences in the role that dancing should play in the young dancer’s life. For example, some parents might have goals of stardom for their child while the teachers are emphasizing fun and technical development. These differences are important because they will have a significant impact on the attitudes and behaviors of the teachers and the goals set by the dancers. To clarify this issue, it can be helpful for the teachers to invite the parents to a meeting to openly discuss the various views and agree upon the philosophical direction that will be taken.
If parents understand and endorse the approach the dance program is taking, problems will be less likely to arise. If some parents do not agree, they can make the decision to choose a dance program that is more consistent with their views. If their child stays in the program, the parent will at least have a clear idea of the program’s direction, which will reduce later confusion and problems.
Also, it is useful for teachers and parents to deal with more concrete concerns at this meeting. In particular, another preventive measure can be to identify what may be considered appropriate behavior by teachers and parents. A list of parent and teachers do’s and don’ts can be developed). This list should include behavior at the dance studio, rehearsal, and performance. From this meeting, a formalized document composed of philosophical direction and the list of dos and don’ts may then be sent to all parents. To increase adherence, the document may be written in contract form and signed by all teachers and parents.
For example, a common complaint from teachers is that parents will want feedback about their child at inappropriate times, e.g., during a class. Clearly, this is disruptive and distracting for the teachers and dancers. At the same time, parents have a right to ask about how their child is doing. A part of the parent don’t list might include “don’t speak to the teacher during rehearsal”. Similarly, an item on the teacher do list might involve “setting up office hours each week in which parents may stop by or call to get information about their child’s progress or to discuss concerns they may have.”
Another useful technique to ensure proper behavior is to have the parents police their own ranks, so teachers can focus on the things they are paid to do. During the teacher-parent meeting, several parents who regularly wait in the studio and attend rehearsals and performances might be elected to act as “parent police”. Their role would be assist teachers by monitoring parents to make sure they act appropriately. For example, if a high pressure parent yells at a teacher or talks badly about another dancer, the parent-police, who have been endorsed by all of the parents, can take the offending parent aside and tactfully discuss their concerns as they relate to the document discussed above.
In sum, communication and clear guidelines can provide useful information and reduce misunderstanding. An on-going dialogue can then turn teachers and parents from adversaries to allies. And the real winners will be those that teachers and parents are doing all this for: the dancers.
