Dr. Jim Taylor’s blog

I’ve been called a skeptic, an alarmist, and a doomsayer because the focus of most of my technology blogging is on the risks of and what’s wrong with technology. I realize that I may sound like a Luddite despite the fact that I’m actually an early adapter and readily admit that I couldn’t function in my work without the plethora of technology that is currently at our fingertips. I guess the reason I come across as such a downer at times is that I assume that we all know about the incredible benefits that technology has to offer us; it’s not worth repeating what we all know to be true. At the same time, I recognize that, with the rapid advancements in computer and communication technology in the last decade, we haven’t had to time consider how these developments will shape our individual and collective lives.

I don’t have a problem with technology. To the contrary, it can be a wonderful tool for progress and change. Technology is already changing our lives cognitively, emotionally, and behaviorally; psychologically, physically, and socially; politically, culturally, and environmentally. My goal is not to suggest that we should reject technology, but rather to ensure that we have control over it rather it controlling us. The ultimate objective of this dissection of technology is to make certain that we use it with perspective and forethought to enhance our lives instead of indifferently or reactively to damage our lives.

I certainly don’t have all the answers. But before we can find answers, we must first ask the right questions. That is what I want to do, to ask the questions that need to be asked in the hope that minds greater than my own will help provide the answers.

With that preface, let me introduce you to the Law of Unintended Consequences and why I am so concerned about the breakneck pace of technological development. According to Wikipedia.com, this law states “that any purposeful action will produce some unanticipated or unintended consequences.” Furthermore, it is “a warning against the hubristic belief that humans can fully control the world around them.” Finally, “possible causes of unintended consequences include the world’s inherent complexity?perverse incentives, human stupidity, self-deception or other cognitive or emotional biases.”

The Law of Unintended Consequences can be seen everywhere in our lives, for example, in the wars in Irag and Afghanistan and the Great Recession. And it is absolutely pervasive in the new world of computer and communication technology. Consider the Internet, the Web, mobile phones, texting, facebook, and twitter. Here’s a satirical and fictitious quote attributed to twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey about his invention on theonion.com: “Twitter was intended to be a way for vacant, self-absorbed egotists to share their most banal and idiotic thoughts with anyone pathetic enough to read them. When I heard how Iranians were using my beloved creation for their own means?such as organizing a political movement and informing the outside world of the actions of a repressive regime?I couldn’t believe they’d ruined something so beautiful, simple, and absolutely pointless.” Though clearly speaking with tongue firmly planted in cheek, who would have predicted that technology would play a key role in the election of a president or the promotion of freedom in countries such as China and Iran. At the same time, who would have thought that mobile phones would be used by terrorists and drug dealers to further their causes or that texting while driving would increase the risk of an car accident 23 times.

Is there a more powerful force in our lives today than technology? I don’t think so. And, given its increasing influence on our individual and social landscapes, shouldn’t we understand the technologies as best we can?

We can increase that understanding and decrease its unintended consequences by exploiting the incredible technology we now have available to us. Why not employ the same strategies that software companies use ? mass collaboration — in which they “leak” unfinished software to the amateur developers. In doing so, these “basement hackers” identify and resolve bugs, “tweak” the software, and, generally, polish the product far better than a team of in-house developers could ever do. Imagine if a new technology was similarly leaked to experts in the fields of psychology, sociology, and anthropology, as well as laypeople with a passion for the intersection of technology and humanity, and were encouraged to brainstorm on how it might be used, misused, and what its unintended consequences might be. Using the power of technology to harness the creative power of the many to further the value of technology seems like a no-brainer to me.

Of course, we can never know a priori all of the unintended consequences (just as most of us couldn’t have imagined that terrorists would use hijacked airliners as guided missiles), but reducing their number could make the positive effects of new technology all the more beneficial and its negative effects more manageable and less destructive.

I’ve been reviewing my technology-related blog posts of late and I’ve noticed a particular trend that I find troubling: I seem to be a technology doomsayer. The overriding theme I’ve identified in my own writing about technology is one of skepticism and caution. My posts tend to focus on the problems that technology creates, not on all the wonderful things it has to offer. You might think that I’m a real technology Chicken Little, constantly screaming that the sky is falling.

But the truth is that I am an optimist about new media. I’m constantly on my smartphone, checking email, updating my web site, posting blogs, and using Facebook, LinkedIn, and twitter in my work. So why the bad attitude? Because, though an optimist, I’m also a realist and I see both the good and the bad in how technology impacts our lives. I generally don’t see the need to talk about the good things in that technology has to offer; they are, I think, self-evident and overanalyzing the positives detracts from experiencing their joys. And when technology is making our lives better, why question it. The reality is though that there are bad elements to all parts of life and only by examining them can we increase our awareness and understanding of them and, hopefully, find ways to minimize or alleviate them.

So, to start the year (and decade) on a positive technology note, I want to share with you the ten things I love about technology, in no particular order and with no complaints, just to show you how positive I can be:

1. On-line forums: Communities of helpers and givers; expert, anonymous, altruistic.
2. Skype: The next best thing to being there (for work and family).
3. Facebook: Connecting with your past, enriching your present, expanding your future.
4. Smartphones: So much power and versatility in such a little package.
5. Dual monitors: Maximum productivity; everything I need at my visual fingertips.
6. Notebook computers: I’m at my most productive working on airplanes.
7. Bluetooth technology: No wires! How do they do that? And who is this King Bluetooth?
8. Digital cameras: Keep shooting till you get a good one (and all free).
9. Designers and engineers: They just keep coming up with cool stuff.
10. Amateur hackers and developers: They make the cool stuff even cooler.
11. A bonus: That life-changing “next big thing” that someone out there hasn’t even thought of yet, but that will be in our hands before we know it.

There you have it, my start-of-a-new-decade burst of optimism about the technologies that will shape our futures (hopefully for the better). What would you add to the list? But don’t expect me to be all smiley-face emoticon about technology from now on. My next post will probably be more 2012 than Avatar!

What do the following have in common?

• ?Too big to fail? government bailouts.
• Executive pay on Wall Street.
• The absence of universal health care in America.
• The influence of lobbyists on government.

All of the above should immediately generate profound outrage among all of our citizens, regardless of their geography, race, ethnicity, politics, or religion. People should be mad as hell for the time, energy, money, and resources that are being spent on things that are either counter to the best interests of most Americans or just plain unimportant. There should be protests in the streets, sit-ins on the mall in our capital, and midnight vigils. Yet, the only group from whom we see visible outrage these days is the lunatic fringe who are more interested in imposing its ideologies on us than doing what?s best for the American people.

So I wondered, is public outrage dead?

In a government that seems to be controlled by special interests, are ordinary Americans suffering from learned helplessness in which they have surrendered to the belief that they have no influence over the decisions that are made in Washington that directly impact them?

Is the current economic climate so bad for so many Americans that they have become focused on simply surviving and don?t have the time or energy to register outrage?

Because of the profound instability in the world, are many Americans simply burying their heads in the sand because they just don?t want to acknowledge all of the problems with which they are faced?

Or have the ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Great Recession, and the political divisiveness in Washington simply worn Americans out?

Then I thought, wait a minute, perhaps the outrage is out there, it?s just not so visible or noisy. This is, after all, the 21^st century and there are many ways to express our outrage that simply didn?t exist 20 years ago. In voicing our outrage, we want bang for our buck; if we express outrage, we want to know that we will be heard. And, though public protests may be cathartic and provide good theater, they don?t reach a very wide audience and their impact is uncertain.

The Internet has given us a new ?megaphone? through which to communicate our outrage. It has given us an unprecedented vehicle to share that outrage with millions of people. Outrage 2.0 arrived in full force during the 2008 presidential election and continues in full force. Outrage has gone all tech and viral on us.

The current health-care debate demonstrates the power of Outrage 2.0. I began to search for outrage over health care on the Web and found it in spades, on both sides of the political aisle. On web sites, in blogs and their comments, through emails, texting, and on-line petitions and donations, by way of Facebook and Twitter, people on both sides of the debate have been speaking out (though I’m not sure the members of Congress have actually been listening).

So outrage is alive and well and living in America. It isn?t a visibly public or loud outrage, yet it can be heard in every corner of America and, hopefully, in the White House and halls of Congress. Though the tag line for the 1979 science-fiction film Alien tells us that ?In space no one can hear you scream,? in cyberspace, everyone can hear you scream.

Prime intensity is the ideal amount of physiological activity necessary for you to perform your best. It is also the level of intensity that you perceive as most positive and beneficial to your sports performances. Unfortunately, there is no one ideal level of intensity for every athlete. Prime intensity is individual; it?s different for everyone. Some athletes perform best relaxed. Others perform best energized, but not too psyched up. Still others perform best unbelievably intense and fired up. You must find out the level of intensity that enables you to perform your best.

What sport you participate in also plays a role in determining your prime intensity. Though there will be some variation in intensity within a sport, different sports require different levels of intensity. For example, golf demands a low level of intensity because it involves precise motor skills. In contrast, football linemen need high intensity because their position involves strength and explosiveness. Other sports, such as tennis, soccer, and basketball, need more moderate intensity because they combine speed, power, and skill.

Your intensity is much like the thermostat maintaining the most comfortable temperature in your house. You always notice when your house is too warm or too cold because you?re sensitive to changes in temperature. When the temperature becomes uncomfortable, you adjust the thermostat to a more comfortable level. You can think of your intensity as your internal temperature that needs to be adjusted periodically. You need to be sensitive to when your intensity is no longer comfortable, in other words, it?s not allowing you to perform your best. You can then use the intensity-control techniques I?ll be describing in my March, 2010 newsletter to you to raise or lower your intensity to its prime level.

You have several goals in developing prime intensity. First, to learn what is your prime intensity. Then, to recognize the signs of overintensity and underintensity in practice and competitions. Next, to identify those situations in which your intensity may go up or down. Finally, to take active steps to reach and maintain prime intensity throughout practice and competitions (the last goal will be addressed in my next newsletter).

Determining Prime Intensity

The first step in taking control of your intensity is to identify what is your prime intensity. First, think back to several competitions in which you performed very well. Recall your level of intensity. Were you relaxed, energized, or really fired up? Then remember the thoughts, emotions, and physical feelings you experienced during these competitions. Were you positive or negative, happy or angry, relaxed or tense?? Second, think back to several competitions in which you performed poorly. Recall your level of intensity. Remember the thoughts, emotions, and physical feelings you had in these competitions. If you?re like most athletes, a distinct pattern will emerge. When you perform well, you have a particular level of intensity. This is your prime intensity. There are also common thoughts, emotions, and physical feelings associated with your prime intensity and performing well. In contrast, when you?re performing poorly, there is a very different level of intensity, either higher or lower than your prime intensity. There are also decidedly different thoughts, emotions, and physical feelings.

Another useful way to help you understand your prime intensity is to experiment with different levels of intensity in practice and see how the differing intensity impacts your performances. Here is a good exercise you can use to learn more about your prime intensity (you can adapt it to your particular sport):

Let?s say you?re working on a drill to improve some aspect of your performance. Break up the drill into three segments. The first segment will emphasize low intensity. Before you begin the drill, take several slow, deep breaths, relax your muscles, and focus on calming thoughts (e.g., ?Easy does it,? ?Cool and calm.?). As you start the drill, stay focused on keeping your body relaxed and calm.

The second segment will focus on moderate intensity. Before the drill, take a few deep, but more forced breaths, walk around a bit, and focus on more energetic thoughts (e.g., ?Let?s go,? ?Pick it up.?). Before the drill, bounce on your feet lightly and feel your intensity picking up. During the drill, pay attention to feeling the intensity and energy in your body and keeping your body moving.

The final segment will highlight high intensity. Before the drill, take several shorter, more intense breaths with special emphasis on a hard and aggressive exhale, start bouncing up and down immediately, and repeat intense thoughts (e.g., ?Fire it up,? ?Get after it.?), saying these out loud with energy and force. Feel the high level of intensity and energy as you begin the drill, and focus on maintaining the intensity with constant movement and high-energy self-talk.

I encourage you to use this exercise for several days so you can see clearly how your intensity impacts your performance. As with comparing past good and poor performances, you will likely see a pattern emerge in which you perform better at one of the three levels of intensity. That level of intensity is the one you want to aim for in both practice and competition.

With this knowledge, you will have a good sense of your prime intensity. You can then use that information to recognize when you?re not at prime intensity and you need to adjust your intensity to a prime level.

Note: In a previous post, Unconditional Love is Bad!, I provoked some strong responses from readers. The main beef that they had was with my notion that parents withdraw their love from their children. Let me clarify this point. I’m not talking about what we as parents feel (of course, we always love our children no matter what they do), but rather what children perceive, and I believe that they do perceive loss of love. They don’t know the difference between withholding love and disapproval. In reading this newsletter, please think about my ideas from the perspective of your children, not yourself.

So here I go with another bold and controversial statement: Conditional love is good! Yes, as much as parents have been brainwashed to believe that unconditional love is the Holy Grail and that conditional love is Satan (no religious connotations intended), I am telling you that they are not. Like most things in life, unconditional and conditional love are neither good nor bad; it is what you do with them that makes them so. You can use them as tools for your children’s healthy growth or as weapons that can harm your children’s development.

I?m going to describe several red flags to see if you are using the wrong kind of conditional love. I will then show you how you can use conditional love to help your children become successful, happy, and value-driven human beings.

Red Flag #1: Outcome Love

One of the obstacles to children?s success and happiness occurs when parents use their love to threaten and control them. Love becomes a weapon when parents make their love conditional on their children?s success or failure, what I call outcome love. Parents who deliberately offer outcome love believe that love is not an entitlement for children, but rather something that must be earned. They implicitly believe in a ?transactional? approach in which love is a reward for success and withdrawal of love is a payment for failure.

Outcome love can be communicated openly or subtly to children. Some parents become so invested in their children?s achievements, whether academic, athletic, or artistic, that they actively reward success and punish failure. These parents reward success by giving their love in the form of effusive praise, physical affection, and lavish gifts. When these parents perceive that their children have failed, they punish their children with expressions of disappointment, anger, and derision, or by withholding of love with neglect, emotional distance, absence of physical contact, and withdrawal of support and encouragement.

The most extreme example of outcome love I have seen came from the mother of a young athlete with whom I worked a few years ago. Prior to my involvement, over a summer of competitions in which the girl had some difficult losses, her mother smashed her daughter?s equipment, abandoned her at a competition, told her daughter repeatedly that she didn?t love her, and didn?t speak a word to her daughter for a week. Not surprisingly, this story doesn?t have a happy ending. After several months, I was fired by the mother for ?undermining? her efforts to help her daughter. The girl later informed me that she had quit her sport and hated her mother. Clearly, this is an extraordinarily blatant and painful case of outcome love, but one that is not so far from many parents I have seen in my practice.

More commonly, you may create subtle outcome love without realizing it. When your children are successful, it’s natural for them to feel happy and excited, and when they do poorly to feel sad and disappointed. Because you experience your children?s successes and failures vicariously, you may express these same emotions empathically back to your children without any intention of conveying outcome love. But your children may not yet be sophisticated enough to understand that you are simply sharing their joys and disappointments. Instead, your children see strong positive emotions from you when they succeed and strong negative emotions when they fail. These inadvertent messages create the appearance of outcome love and may produce many of the same difficulties in children as those resulting from parents who actively express outcome love.

The Columbia University researchers Melissa Kamins and Carol Dweck discovered that children who believed that their self-worth was dependent on how they performed were highly self-critical, showed strong negative emotions, judged their performances severely, and demonstrated less persistence following setbacks. This research shows that outcome love produces children who live in a constant state of fear. They are maniacally driven to succeed in order to receive their parents? love, yet they have a powerful dread of failure and the anticipated loss of love from their parents.

Red Flag #2: Dangling-Carrot Love

Another painful and destructive form of conditional love is dangling-carrot love, in which love is promised by parents and held seemingly within reach, but is never truly attainable. This expression came from my work with a young professional athlete who introduced me to a song by Alanis Morissette in which she sings of the ?transparent dangling carrot.? Much like the donkey who keeps moving forward in the belief that it will be able to reach the carrot tied at the end of a stick in front of it, children are impelled to keep trying to reach the love that they so desperately seek from their parents.

Unfortunately, no matter how hard these children try or whatever high level of success they achieve, nothing is ever good enough to gain the love from their parents that they want so badly. Parents who use dangling-carrot love put their children in a hopeless position. Their children are never rewarded for their efforts, yet they are loath to give up. To do so would be to surrender the hope that their parents really do love them. So these children keep striving, chasing that elusive carrot, however fruitlessly, to be good enough to earn their parents? love.

If you are a parent who communicates dangling-carrot love, you would show it by never being completely satisfied with how your children perform. For example, your son brings home a test in which he earned a score of 94 and you ask him why he missed three questions. Or your daughter receives a standing ovation for her dance performance, but the first thing you say is that she missed three steps in her choreography. In both examples, your children succeeded by most anyone?s standards, yet their achievements were still not completely worthy of your love. Why do parents use this destructive kind of love? Probably in the mistaken belief that if parents give complete and unlimited approval of their children’s achievements, they will never achieve up to their fullest abilities.

Conditional Love That Works

Love should have strings attached. Most things of importance in life are earned, whether values like trust, respect, and responsibility, or substantial things such as education and career. Why should love be any different? Love is your most powerful tool for influencing your children. But the key is to attach the right strings to your love.

Instead of outcome or dangling-carrot love, you should use value love, in which love is conditional on your children?s adopting essential values and acting in socially appropriate and ethical ways. Value love nurtures the development of positive values and moral behavior, fosters healthy growth, and encourages achievement and happiness. You can instill values and life skills, such as respect, responsibility, hard work, discipline, compassion, and generosity, by giving praise?offering love?when your children demonstrate these values and showing disapproval?withholding love?when your children don?t demonstrate these values.

There are several important differences between outcome and dangling-carrot love and value love. First, value love is about the over-all development and well-being of children. Not only will value love help children become successful (because it instills values and life skills such as hard work, discipline, the joys of achievement), but it will also help them to become happy (because they are learning the values and life skills that engender happiness) and good human beings (because good people come from good values).

In contrast, outcome and dangling-carrot love have quite the opposite effect. Yes, these children will achieve some degree of success, but, being driven by fear, they will likely never fully realize their ability. Plus, the chances are that they will be unhappy kids because of the relentless pressure to succeed that they are under. Finally, because their parents focus so much on achievement, rather than on the whole person, these children are more likely to miss out on all of those great values that make decent people.

Second, unhealthy conditional love is outside of children’s control. In other words, no matter what they do, these children can’t get the love they deserve from their parents. This loss of control will, in time, cause feelings of helplessness and, possibly, anger and resentment toward their parents. Conversely, all of the values and life skills that are fostered by value love are within children’s control. They know what they can do to “earn” their parents’ love and have the power to gain that love (read approval) when they want it. This sense of control has benefits to their self-esteem, motivation, and emotional lives.

Third, with outcome and dangling-carrot love, children sense that their parents are acting on their own needs and interests rather than on what is best for their children. This perception can create several harmful results. It causes conflict between children and parents that can generate anger, resentment, and resistance on the part of the children. Parents, in turn, likely unaware of their use of this bad form of conditional love, are bitter toward their children whom they perceive to be ungrateful for their parents’ efforts to help them succeed. The ultimate result of this conflict is that children may act against their own best interests by sabotaging their efforts to exact revenge on their parents. And, sadly, the relationship between parent and child is severely damaged, sometimes irreparably.

Finally, children raised with outcome and dangling-carrot love internalize their parents’ style of love and use it as the basis for loving themselves. In other words, they come to only love themselves when they live up to the now-internalized expectations and they hate themselves when they fail to do so. Children raised with value love, by contrast, ingrain that healthy style of love and are able to love themselves independent of the successes or failures they experience in their lives.

Now that you have an understanding of Prime Business (performing at a consistently high level under the challenging conditions) from my Prime Business posts (if you missed them, read here), you can begin the process of achieving it. The first step involves gaining a better understanding of yourself in essential areas that impact your work. This self-knowledge can provide you with direction as you try to maximize your efforts in your business life. Becoming the best businessperson you can is complicated. You probably have a busy life filled with work, family, social life, and other activities. It?s difficult to find time to do everything. By understanding yourself, you?ll know what you need to work on to be efficient and focused in your efforts.

In developing greater self-understanding, you must recognize your strengths and weaknesses. Most businesspeople love to talk about their strengths, but don?t like to admit that they have weaknesses. I disagree with Marcus Buckingham, the co-author of Now, Discover Your Strengths, who asserts that the way to find success is to focus on your strengths. This approach may work for jobs that involve one or two highly specialized skill sets, such as an accountant or a computer programmer, but most positions in the business world require a constellation of competencies. So, the ?focus on your strengths? model will actually limit your climb up the corporate ladder.

Let me explain why. Most businesspeople think that they?re as good as their greatest strengths. For example, a finance director may believe that her financial and analytic capabilities will enable her to one day become a CFO. The truth is, however, that you are only as good as your biggest weakness. If the finance director lacks leadership and team skills, her specialized abilities will only take her so far.

Additionally, focusing on your strengths has a ceiling effect. If you work to improve them, there?s only so much better you can get because they are already your strengths. But, by definition, your weaknesses leave considerable room for improvement, so you will get more ?bang for your buck? when you focus on alleviating your weaknesses.

Think of business strengths and weaknesses as a mathematical equation. On a scale of one to ten, where 1 is very poor and 10 is the best, if you are very good at research for an financial analysis (8), but you are quite poor at synthesizing that data (2), then your over-all performance would be moderate (8+2=10 out of a possible 20). If you focused on and improve your research capabilities (say, from 8 to 9), you wouldn?t improve that much over all because you were already a capable researcher (9+2=11). But if you improve your integration abilities (say, from 2 to 6), then your over-all performance would rise significantly (8+6=14). Of course, you want to continue to build your strengths, but the more you improve your weaknesses, the better you?ll be able to do your current job and the more prepared you?ll be for that promotion that you really want.

Why Self-knowledge?

Nobody likes to admit, much less focus on, their weaknesses. Yet, when you gain self-knowledge ? both appreciating your strengths and confronting your weaknesses ? you are opening up new possibilities for growth and advancement in your career. So be receptive to self-knowledge. Rather than being uncomfortable with facing your weaknesses, be willing to consider the information in a positive and constructive way. When weaknesses are identified, it doesn?t mean that you?re incapable of performing well. It may be that you haven?t had to use these skills in your current position or you?ve been able to hide them with the strengths you have. And the great thing about self-knowledge is that it gives you the power to makes changes in those weaknesses. The information you gain from actively seeking self-knowledge will enable you to really understand both your strengths and weaknesses, and plot a course to maximally leverage both to achieve your goals.

What is Prime Business Profiling?

If you want to learn what your strengths and weaknesses are in material areas of your work, for example, ?preparing corporate financials, they are usually quite evident on paper (or monitor). However, a difficulty with dealing with the psychological, leadership, and social aspects of the business world is that they?re neither tangible nor easily measured. Think of Prime Business Profiling as competency testing for the mind. It makes these ethereal aptitudes related to your work more concrete.

Performance Profiling is a well-researched strategy for assessing any contributors to performance. The nice thing about it is that it?s a template that can be customized to assess whatever areas are most relevant for your work. It involves a simple circular grid in which you label each ?piece of the pie? with a performance-relevant area and then assess yourself (or have others assess you) on a one-to-ten scale (see profile on right).

Through my work with Young Presidents? Organization, an association of about 17,000 CEOs worldwide (www.ypo.org), I developed Prime Business Profiling that offers self-assessment in five areas essential to maximizing performance in the corporate world: personal, professional, performance, leadership, and team. Each of these profiles identifies eight attributes that are most influential in each of the five areas. My Prime Business Profiling also allows you to evaluate your results and develop an action plan to put your newly learned self-knowledge to good use.

To receive a copy of my Prime Business Profile, just email me here.

The title of this post refers to an epiphany I had over the New Year’s weekend. The realization was about my relationship with technology, namely, I was exhibiting some of the symptoms of technology addiction.

And I wasn’t the only one in my family with email and Internet issues. My wife, who doesn’t own a smartphone, would, by her own admission, be checking her email or surfing the Web when she should have been paying attention to our daughters. Clearly, neither of us have perfected the in-the-present art of Zen parenting.

For those who follow my Psychology of Technology blog posts, you know that I write about the dangers of letting technology take over our lives and the importance of maintaining control over our technology use. But, I must confess that those ideas had been, up to New Year’s weekend, more theory than reality. But I finally got the chance to test my theories cold turkey.

It all started last Wednesday when I, along with my wife and two children, left for a long New Year’s weekend in a part of Northern California that had neither cellular service nor Internet access — the HORRORS! I was more than a little concerned. Though not, clinically speaking, a technology addict, I am pretty darned attached to my smartphone and computers (including a desktop PC, a notebook, and a netbook). I get emails and calls from clients and colleagues all the time and I don’t like missing them.

I have to admit that I was pretty anxious at first about our trip. Not only could I not check my email or send or receive calls on my mobile phone on the two-and-a-half-hour drive , but on arrival at the small coastal town where we were staying, I wasn’t able to log on with the netbook I brought along (just in case I could steal a neighbor’s unsecured wireless signal) or be on line for THREE WHOLE DAYS! My technology jones was so ingrained that, all through the first evening, I would begin to reach for my phone and realize that there was no signal.

But then I noticed a strange feeling slowly coming over me. I wasn’t sure what it was at first, but then I figured it out; it was?relaxation. We had a low-key dinner without my phone ringing or the little chirp of incoming emails emanating from the netbook in our kitchen at home. I didn’t feel the need to rush to get my kids to bed just to get to my computer sooner. And my wife and I watched a movie together instead of going to our separate corners of the house to do email and search the Web.

But that was just the start of my revelation. For the next three days, I slept great, was more attentive to my wife and kids, didn’t think about work for hours at a time, and just plain enjoyed myself immensely. I was, dare I say, living in the moment. I had just learned first hand that disconnecting from the virtual world enabled me to connect more deeply with the real world. Wow, I thought, I could get used to this.

That revelation turned into a New Year’s resolution. But, having a Ph.D. in Psychology, I knew that resolutions rarely stick. I also knew that I just didn’t have the willpower to resist the allure of technology if it was staring me in the face. So I decided the best way to stay off line away from work was to avoid temptation completely by removing the cake from the counter (metaphorically speaking).

When we returned home from our trip, I made three pretty dramatic changes in our house. First, I took my phone charger, which used to be on the all-too-accessible kitchen counter, and moved it downstairs to my home office. This move meant that I couldn’t check my phone for calls or emails every time I went into the kitchen. I also disconnected the upstairs extension of my office phone so I wouldn’t be able to take any work calls while in our home. Finally, with my wife’s approval, I removed the netbook from the kitchen counter and stored it around the corner from the kitchen in a location that was convenient enough for us to pull out for recipes and for when the kids weren’t around, but inconvenient enough to prevent us from emailing or surfing when we walk by it. But that netbook still beckons me like the Sirens to Odysseus.

I know this is a grand experiment in keeping the barbarians at the gate (or is it the technologists at the door?), but my wife and I are committed to make this New Year’s resolution stick (yeah, that’s what they all say on January 5^th). I’ll report back later in the year.

So, I ask you what your relationship is with technology? Are you its master or slave? Do you need to spend more time off line and on life? If so, with only a few days into the new year, how do you want to change that relationship?

I welcome your experiences, insights, and solutions.

The Web, the Internet, and all of the new computer and communication technology that has sprung from them, have been a boon to the information age, making information available at our fingertips instantaneously. The sheer volume of information now accessible on line is staggering. As of a few weeks ago, there were more than 21 billion pages on the Web. Information continues to become more available to more people in less time; from web sites to email to RSS feeds to Twitter, we have input at an unprecedented rate and volume. Ironically, as the frequency of information grows, the length of messages shrinks (e.g., Twitter?s 140-character limit. This isn?t necessarily a bad thing; think of haiku). And, amazingly, the vast majority of this information is free.

For all its benefits, an unfortunate consequence of this torrent of information is that our ?mental inbox? becomes overloaded. With our minds spilling over with information, our primary motivation is to empty it as quickly as possible. We typically use two ?information survival? strategies when the inbox fills up. We output as quickly as possible without sufficient thought to either the incoming or outgoing messages. The obvious downside to this approach is that your input lacks thorough consideration and evaluation and your output lacks quality. Or, we are so overwhelmed by emails and text messages that we simply delete large swathes of messages without even looking at them. The obvious downside here is that important messages may be missed.

Information overload isn?t the only problem with this deluge of data that comes to those of us who are connected 24/7. Such large and never-ending quantities of input interfere with our ability to ?innerput,? a word I created to denote our thought processes in response to input, including insights, synthesis, judgments, and decisions. With so much information coming in and the need to get information out, innerput suffers; there is neither the time nor the energy to adequately process all of the information.

Information is only a tool; it?s value lies in how we use it. And information has limited value, either as input or output, without innerput. Only through innerput does information become meaningful, only then can it morph from simple data to knowledge and wisdom. And that only comes when there is time for innerput; stopping in the middle of this flood of information to think about, wrestle with, challenge, and build on the information that arrives at our technological doorstep.

Dangers of input and output without innerput can be seen daily. Unfounded rumors that aren?t investigated adequately before they are posted spread across the Internet and are accepted and remain as “truth” even when they are definitively debunked later. Information without context limits its value to readers by restricting our understanding and its meaning to us. One-sided stories without the balance of another perspective create the illusion of accuracy and correctness. And all of this input doesn’t just describe phenomena that are happening in the world, it also impacts those very events because we make judgments about and decide on how we will respond based on these limited data.

For individuals, input without innerput has serious consequences. It means staying on the surface of information rather than diving deep into its meaning and implications. The absence of innerput prevents us from taking real ownership of the information and integrating it into our knowledge base. It also keeps us from transforming the input from cold and lifeless data into a power plant of insight, creativity, innovation, and action.

At a social level, the consequences of too much input and not enough innerput are significant and sometimes dire. Input without innerput is often used as a weapon by extremists of every ilk against the forces of reason, moderation, and civil discourse. We see it in totalitarian regimes, fundamentalist causes, and ideological warfare. Drowning people in biased information is a common strategy used to prevent people from thinking deliberately and critically about the input to which they are exposed. In a torrent of information, the best way to survive is simply to accept it rather than resist it. The deadly combination of a tidal wave of input and the absence of innerput makes people more vulnerable to misinformation and undue influence.

So how can we swim against the tide of information overload and find the time for innerput? ?The answer to this question is really quite simple, but nonetheless far from easy. The power to control the amount of input we allow in, foster innerput, and ensure the quality of the output we produce is in our individual hands. Too often, I see people becoming slaves to technology rather than being its master; I see people being information junkies who just crave the input regardless of its value.

You control the flow of information in several ways. First, ask yourself what purpose all of this input serves and whether the typical information you receive each day really brings something of value to the table. You?ll likely realize that you?re inputting a great deal of information simply out of habit or perhaps a concern that you will miss out on something really important if you limit your input. Ask yourself: Do you really need to follow people on Twitter or Facebook or check your IMs every two minutes? Hopefully, this exercise will put your input load into perspective and show you that much of your input is unnecessary.

Next, choose the input you deem most important and jettison that which doesn?t clear that self-determined threshold. When you commit to input filtering and limits, you will establish new and healthier input habits.

With your input load reduced and your new understanding of the importance of innerput (you already knew it intuitively; I just needed to bring it into your consciousness), you now have the time to devote innerput to the input that you really value. The result? Less feeling of drowning in information, less stress, more time, more cogent thinking, and better quality output.

Ah, a new year, a new chance to start fresh, another opportunity to make to New Year’s resolutions, and, sadly, another year of likely failed New Year’s resolutions. We want those resolutions to last, we ?really do, but we ?just can’t make them stick. Well, we’re not alone. Research has shown that, after six months, fewer than half the people who make New Year’s resolutions have stuck with them, and, after a year, that number declines to around ten percent. Gosh, with those kinds of statistics, what’s the point of even thinking about New Year’s resolutions?

On the hopeful side, other research has reported that some simple strategies can help us stick with our New Year’s resolutions, for example, setting specific goals, sharing our resolutions with others, and focusing on the benefits of achieving the resolution. But, even with these helpful hints, far more people fall off the New Year’s resolution wagon than stay on.

I think the problem is that many of us don?t understand what New Year’s resolutions are about, namely, change, usually significant life change, for example, losing we ight, getting out of debt, or quitting smoking.

We want to change and there’s a $2.5 billion self-help industry out there to help. Why change? Because without change, we are assured of staying just the way we are and doing things just the way we always have (which, if we’re making New Year’s resolutions, is not the way we want to be). Yet anyone who has ever tried to change their thinking, emotions, or behavior knows how difficult it is.

The question that must be asked is: Why do we have such a hard time making significant changes in our lives?

Obstacles to Change

Yes, change is difficult, despite the “quick and without any effort” claims of motivational speakers and self-help books. In attempting to change, we are swimming against the tide of obstacles that may have been in our way for many years.

We bring good things into adulthood from our childhood and we likely also bring some not-so-good things, what is commonly referred to as “baggage.” The most common types of baggage include low self-esteem, perfectionism, fear of failure, need for control, anger, and need to please. This baggage causes us to think, feel, and behave based on who we were as children rather than who we now are as adults.

Deeply ingrained habits in the way we think, experience emotions, and behave arise out this baggage. We react to the world in certain ways because that’s the way we always have; these habits produce knee-jerk reactions that are no longer healthy or adaptive.

We don’t make an effort to change because of negative emotions that we are experiencing, such as fear, anger, sadness, or frustration. For example, many people don’t change out of the fear of failure. They might think, “If I can’t change, then I’ll prove myself to be even more of a loser than I am now.”

We also create an environment that helps us best manage our baggage, habits, and emotions. The people we surround ourselves with and the activities we participate in give us a sense of comfort and security that we may be reluctant to give up no matter how much we may want to change.

Foundation of Change

Change starts with a simple, yet powerful, epiphany that comes from a very deep and personal place inside of us: “I just can’t continue down this same road any longer.”

Emotions can be potent motivators for change, whether positive, such as hope, inspiration, or pride, or negative, such as fear (e.g., of losing a job).

Courage is essential because change requires risk and risk is scary. Courage to change means the willingness to acknowledge and confront aspects of ourselves that we may not know about or may not like.

Because change is uncertain, the only way to change is to take a leap of faith that involves a fundamental belief in the vision of who, what, and where we want to be in the future.

Finally, we need an unwavering determination to resist the obstacles and pursue our goals. This resolve motivates us to engage in the moment-to-moment process of change, especially when it gets difficult.

Process of Change

The steps I just described set the stage for change, but the real work lies ahead. Change takes time; I have found that when someone makes a deep commitment to change, they can expect to see positive and lasting change in 6-12 months.

Pinpoint obstacles: Specify what the baggage, habits, emotions, and environment are that are keeping us from our goals.

Identify best practices. Explore how others have successfully made changes in the areas we would like to change.

Environment: Create an environment (i.e., people, surroundings, and activities) that support and encourage our efforts.

Change goals: Establish clear objectives for what areas we want to change, how we will change them, and the ultimate outcome we want to achieve.

Action steps: Describe the specific steps we will take to counter our old baggage, habits, fears, and environment, and pursue our change goals.

Forks in the road: Recognize that we have choices in which road we can take and can choose the good road toward positive change.

Three P’s: We need to make change an ever-present part of our life. Every time we miss an opportunity for change, we further ingrain our old baggage, habits, and emotions.

Persistence means we must maintain our determination to achieve our goals consistently.

Perseverance refers to our ability to respond positively to setbacks we will surely experience in the change process.

Patience is a constant reminder that change takes time and that if we maintain our commitment, we will make the changes we want.

The Choice

So, New Year’s resolutions can have a happy ending, but only if we realize that they are about change and that change is far from easy. So the choice is ours. We can embrace the true nature of New Year’s resolutions and throw ourselves, mind, spirit, and body into them. Or, if we can’t, perhaps it’s best to skip New Year’s resolutions this year. We may not make the changes we want, but at least we won’t have to face the disappointment that comes with another year of unfulfilled resolutions.